I am way more aware of my emotions in the past.
I am far less stressed by events today. I am far less stressed by people and events in the past.
I can focus on what I am doing much better than I used to.
I find it much easier to make myself do things.
I am using my time more efficiently and I get more done than ever before.
I feel less stress with difficulties and obstacles I am much more focused in my life.
This should not be too surprising. I have spent years going back and reviewing my past. I have worked on remembering the sights, sounds and smells of the past, for the purpose of re-experiencing the feelings associated with them. And it is working. Now I have a deeper insight into those feelings. I am also starting to become more honest with myself. I can see times when my motivations and feelings were less than noble. This seems to stimulate even more honesty, as it becomes more ‘acceptable’ to myself.
I think that some of the events happening today cause stress because I conditioned myself to feel stress in those situations. That or my emotional baggage pushes me to interpret these events in a negative way. As I let go of the baggage, I am freer to interpret things differently and they have less influence on me with my ‘now’ mind than with my ‘then’ mind. My \’now’ mind is becoming free of the ‘then’ mind and can see things in a less threatening more open way.
My technique is to ‘relive’ the past events and feelings. This is like embracing them. That implies a deep acceptance of those feelings and events. I think now you can only let go of things after you have accepted them. If you can’t let go of something it means you can’t accept that feeling or situation in some way. I review those situations until the feelings are finished. Then they quietly leave me and I am free.
My mind is not being pulled as much as it was even a few months ago, not to mention years ago. Those old memories simply have no power to pull me anymore and that frees me to concentrate better. In fact, it seems like a cascade where all sorts of attachments are gradually falling away. For instance, foods that I used to dislike are perfectly acceptable to me now. But I still really like chocolate.
Even just cooking lunch seemed like a pain in the neck a few years ago. Now, it is just a physical fact, and I get on with it with no feelings, positive or negative. And the time it takes does not bother me. It has become like gravity. I don’t get angry at gravity. That would be silly. Getting angry at having to cook lunch feels the same way now.
This is coupled with the previous two points. I can focus more. Plus I don’t feel resistance to what I am doing nor and I concerned with how long it will take. I just get on with it. This means the small amounts of time that bleed away between activities or when my mind drifts are less and less. That allows me to get more done in the same time. Its efficient.
Perhaps its because I see these things as the ‘spice’ of life. They are the good things that allow me to sharpen my skills or deepen my commitment or learn something better. So I am happier with the difficulties and obstacles in life. Without them my life would be boring.
I can’t comment on this much more than to say all my activities seem to be funneling into one stream. They are all unified to a single objective. This is the focus in my life and it seems to be getting stronger.