Breaking Free from Destructive Patterns

In my previous blogs, I've explored the transformative power of the scanning breath technique and how it's helped me examine my feelings and life events. Through this practice, I've uncovered patterns that have shaped my existence for decades. One discovery stands out above all others: the recognition of my deeply ingrained fear-based motivation system and the journey to replace it with something far more powerful.

When Fear Became My Teacher: A Child's Logical Trap

Looking back to my childhood, I remember viewing the world through a theoretical lens. The way we learned to ride a bike seemed to follow a simple formula: crash, feel pain, develop fear of crashing, use that fear to ride better. As a child, this appeared logical and natural. When we crash, we hurt ourselves, creating fear. But we still want to learn, so that fear becomes the motivation to improve.

Whether this analysis was actually true didn't matter – it became my operating system. I carried this fear-based motivation framework into every realm of life: studying, relationships, and earning money. It seemed natural, and since nature is good, it must be the proper way to approach challenges.

What I didn't realize was that I was setting myself up for decades of unnecessary suffering.

From Playground to Boardroom: How Fear Infected Every Area of Life

This fear-based approach spread like a virus through every aspect of my existence. In junior high, I believed the only way to develop romantic relationships was to confront fear, crash and burn repeatedly, and let that failure-generated fear motivate better performance next time. With academic tests, I thought failing or getting poor marks would logically motivate me to study harder.

But the reality was devastatingly different. When I crashed and burned talking to girls, it didn't improve my skills – it made me want to avoid the situation entirely. When I did force myself into these situations, I was so overcome by fear that my performance plummeted. With studying, the fear of poor grades made me feel guilty about not studying more, but paradoxically, I didn't want to study. The fear actually made me try to avoid studying altogether, which meant avoiding tests – a completely illogical response that created even more stress.

This pattern generated tremendous stress, avoidance behaviors, and what I now recognize as chronically unresourceful states that led to lower performance and more failure.

The Poisonous Dragon: Understanding Fear's Physical and Mental Toll

Fear-based motivation isn't just ineffective – it's actively destructive. I've come to understand fear as an acidic poison that pervades your entire body. Unlike focused emotions that might concentrate in specific areas, fear spreads everywhere, creating a systemic state of dysfunction.

When fear takes control, you enter profoundly unresourceful states characterized by:

• Tunnel vision – You can only see the problem, not alternatives or solutions
• Confidence collapse – Even if you felt confident 15 minutes before, fear strips away your self-assurance in the moment
• Physical clumsiness – Your coordination suffers, making you awkward and ineffective
• Mental weakness – All your actions and thoughts become feeble

I think about climbing as a perfect metaphor. When I fear falling, my climbing skills deteriorate dramatically. But when I'm motivated by the pure desire to reach the top, my abilities soar. Fear contracts everything – your vision, your options, your capabilities. It's the opposite of the expansive, powerful state needed for peak performance.

Early Warning Signs: When Fear Creeps Back In

After years of working with the scanning breath technique, I've become adept at recognizing when fear-based motivation tries to reassert control. The warning signs are unmistakable:

Physical sensations:

• A sick, poisonous feeling circulating through my body
• Concentrated fear in my lower gut
• Nervousness or anxiety in my chest that sometimes forms into a fine rod with a specific vibration
• Overall sense of contamination throughout my system

Mental patterns:

• Tunnel vision where I can only see problems, not solutions
• Loss of alternatives – feeling trapped with no options
• The problem dominates everything, taking up all mental space
• Shift from resourceful problem-solving to anxious rumination

These sensations have become valuable allies because they alert me when I need to intervene with scanning breath work.

Discovering the Tool That Changes Everything

The breakthrough came during a business downturn that triggered my old fear patterns. The familiar poisonous fear flooded my system, concentrated in my gut, and began taking control of my mind, behavior, and planning. But this time, I had been practicing scanning breath for about two years.

I decided to try something new: applying the scanning breath technique to my current emotional state rather than just past emotional baggage. This was revolutionary for me – using the tool on present-moment feelings instead of historical ones.

The results were remarkable. What previously took weeks or months to resolve – waiting helplessly for the fear to eventually subside – now took just several sessions over several days. The scanning breath accelerated my recovery process by 10 to 100 times.

But the fear wasn't completely eliminated. It returned again and again. However, each time I could address it faster and more effectively.

Chopping the Dragon: The Process of Transformation

I've developed a powerful metaphor for this process: imagine a giant dragon, monster, or snake emerging from a hole to attack you. Each time you "chop" it with the scanning breath, it gets smaller and retreats back into the hole. It doesn't grow bigger, but it does keep coming back out to attack. With each encounter, you chop it again and it becomes smaller still.

I look forward to the day when I finally chop it and there's nothing left.

This process follows a predictable pattern that I call moving from "desert crossing to mountain scaling." Initially, your skill level is so low that even though you practice diligently, you don't see dramatic changes. This is crossing the desert – it requires faith and persistence. But once your skill develops sufficiently, you begin scaling the mountain, where each step up reveals more of the landscape and gives you greater power and perspective.

The key is understanding that you must cross the skill development desert before you can scale the mountain of mastery.

From Happiness to Well-Being: A Deeper Approach to Emotional Mastery

As my scanning breath practice deepened, I discovered it works on far more than just fear. It helps with sadness, depression, and anger. Most surprisingly, it even helps with happiness – because happiness has a dark side.

When you're extremely happy, there inevitably comes a point when the happiness subsides, often leaving you feeling sad or empty. I no longer chase happiness. Instead, I seek well-being, which is stronger, more level, mature, and balanced. Well-being is also deeper and more sustainable than the shallow highs and lows of happiness-seeking.

This represents a fundamental shift in how I approach emotional life – from riding the roller coaster of emotional extremes to cultivating a stable, resourceful baseline state.

High-Energy Living: How Desire-Driven Motivation Transforms Connections

One unexpected benefit of eliminating fear-based motivation has been the dramatic improvement in my relationships. I now bring much higher energy into my interactions with others, and people respond positively to this shift.

While I don't want to call people energy vampires, there's no denying that people enjoy being around someone with high, positive energy. As my energy level continues rising through this work, it becomes easier and more enjoyable for others to be with me.

This creates a positive feedback loop – the better I feel, the better others feel around me, which reinforces my own well-being and motivation to continue the work.

Taking Command: Practical Steps to Eliminate Fear-Based Motivation

If you recognize fear-based motivation patterns in your own life, here's my step-by-step guidance:

1. Start scanning breath immediately. Don't wait for the perfect moment or more information. Begin practicing now.

2. Examine all your life problems and associated feelings. Look specifically for where fear might be hiding as a supposed motivator.

3. Apply scanning breath to these feelings systematically. Work through your emotional baggage methodically, but don't neglect current-state feelings as they arise.

4. Commit to crossing the desert. The most crucial element is persisting long enough for your skill to develop. You'll go through a phase where your ability seems too low to create change, but push through to reach the other side where transformation becomes visible and accelerating.

5. Focus on immediate benefits while building long-term skills. Even if you don't see major changes for days or weeks, scanning breath provides immediate relief through:

• Something concrete to focus on (not boring meditation)
• Beneficial breathing patterns that activate your parasympathetic nervous system
• A proactive response to negative stimuli instead of passive suffering

The key insight: instead of just feeling the pain of negative experiences, you can take command and do something constructive. This shift from reactive victim to proactive responder is transformative in itself.

From Crappy Motivator to Powerful Creator: Your Future Self

Looking ahead to complete freedom from fear-based motivation, I envision entering problematic situations with consistently resourceful states. Instead of seeing problems, I'll see opportunities – chances to pivot, negotiate, and create new possibilities.

To anyone thinking "but I need my fear to keep me safe and motivated," I say this: think again. Get rid of the fear because it's a really crappy way to live. Fear-based motivation creates tremendous emotional baggage and attachments that will come back to bite you later in life. It will take over, and you will not be in control of your life.

By contrast, desire-driven motivation expands your capabilities, enhances your vision, and connects you with your authentic power. When you operate from genuine desire rather than manufactured fear, you become unstoppable – not because you're avoiding something terrible, but because you're moving toward something wonderful.

The scanning breath technique offers a practical, proven method for making this transition. While it requires patience and persistence, the rewards – freedom from fear-based patterns, deeper well-being, and the ability to respond to life's challenges from a resourceful state – make every moment of practice worthwhile.

Your fear-driven days can become a thing of the past. The question isn't whether transformation is possible, but whether you're ready to begin the journey from fear to freedom.

*Have you recognized fear-based motivation patterns in your own life? *