Shrink Your Problems: A Guide to Inner Peace
Imagine carrying a backpack filled with rocks. Each rock represents a problem you're dealing with. Some rocks are real obstacles you need to climb over (external problems), while others are just weighing you down unnecessarily (internal problems). Today, we're going to learn how to make those internal rocks dissolve away, making your journey much lighter.
Understanding the Nature of Your Problems
Think of problems like weather conditions. External problems are like actual storms - you need to find shelter or weather them out. Internal problems are like constantly checking the weather app and worrying about storms that may never come. One requires actual action; the other is self-created suffering.
Let's explore this through a common workplace scenario: dealing with a colleague who pushes your buttons.
The Three-Step Path to Resolution
Step 1: Embracing Change - Breaking the Attachment
Here's a surprising truth: sometimes we're like a person complaining about a heavy backpack while secretly filling it with more rocks. Our problems can become part of our identity, giving us stories to tell and reasons to seek sympathy. It's like having a scratched record that plays our favorite sad song - we might actually enjoy the melody of our misery.
Action Step: Ask yourself honestly: "What would I lose if this problem disappeared tomorrow?" If you find yourself hesitating, you've discovered your first challenge.
Step 2: Mapping the Emotional Landscape
Imagine being a detective investigating your own emotions. You're not looking for who committed the crime; you're searching for what triggers your emotional reactions. With that difficult colleague, is it their morning greeting that sounds more like a grunt? Their habit of interrupting you in meetings? Their tendency to take credit for team efforts?
Practice Exercise:
- Keep an "interaction journal" for one week
- After each encounter, note your immediate emotional response
- Review these notes daily, looking for patterns
- Pay attention to physical sensations - tension in shoulders, clenched jaw, rapid breathing
Step 3: The Release Process
This step is like cleaning out a cluttered room. You need to pick up each item (emotion), examine it fully, and then decide if it still serves a purpose. The scanning breath technique helps here - it's like shining a flashlight on each feeling until it naturally fades away.
Technique in Action:
- Find a quiet moment
- Recall a specific interaction that bothered you
- Allow yourself to fully experience the emotion
- Keep breathing and observing until the feeling begins to fade
- Repeat with other similar memories until the emotional charge dissipates
Handling External Problems Without Creating Internal Ones
Life will inevitably throw real challenges your way - job loss, financial struggles, health issues. These are like actual storms that require action. The key is not to create an additional internal thunderstorm of worry.
Think of it this way: if you're in a boat during a storm, you need to focus on steering and staying afloat. Worrying about whether you should have checked the weather forecast yesterday only reduces your ability to handle the current situation.
Practical Applications
Here's a simple framework to classify and handle any problem:
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Ask: "Is this something I can take concrete action about right now?"
- Yes → External problem → Make an action plan
- No → Internal problem → Apply the three-step process
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For workplace situations:
- Document specific incidents
- Focus on behaviors, not personalities
- Practice the scanning breath technique before difficult meetings
Conclusion
Remember, making your problems smaller isn't about ignoring real issues. It's about not carrying unnecessary emotional baggage while dealing with life's actual challenges. Start with small situations and gradually work your way up to bigger internal challenges. Like any skill, this takes practice, but the lightness you'll feel when you master it is worth every effort.