How to Make Your Problems Smaller

Scanning Breath for all Problems?

Well, I should say how to use the scanning breath to make your internal problems smaller. For instance, if you have a colleague at work that you really don’t like to work with, that is probably more of an internal problem. On the other hand, if you are fired from your job and have to pay the rent then you definitely have an external problem.

We can make our internal problems smaller. The external problems are a bit of a different kind of beast, but we can prevent making our external problems worse by adding internal problems to them.

The Unliked Colleague: First Hurdle

With the exception of extreme and wantonly bullyish behaviour, dealing with a colleague that you don’t like is not too complex, but it can be difficult. First, you have to have a desire to get rid of this problem. It sounds silly, but in fact a lot of the time we don’t want to get rid of our problems. They make us feel special. This is pretty pathetic sounding but in fact we often get attached to our problems. They give us identity, provide us with suffering that we can then complain about and try to get comfort from those around us. Don’t underestimate this hurdle. It can be almost insurmountable in some cases.

The Unliked Colleague: Second Hurdle

Now we have to get the clarity to find out what we don’t like about the colleague. Is it their arrogance? Their snide remarks? Or is it the cold shoulder they give to our comments? You have to look closely and identify your feelings. You don’t have to name your feelings. You have to become aware of them. This takes a lot of practice. I have found that simply reviewing all our interactions with those people again and again and again gradually makes us more aware of our feelings with those people in various situations. This is the homework part of the assignment. If you are already clear it can go fast. Maybe five minutes. Or it could take a few weeks, going back and recovering our tracks again and again. You see, part of us does not want to change, and tries to ignore problems. Later when you discover the problem, you will often feel like it was right in front of your eyes, and it was simply a lack of will to see the obvious.

The Unliked Colleague: HurdleThree

Now you have to go back and relive those moments when you felt that way with your colleague. Try to find as many moments when you felt that way as you can. Try to re-feel all those feelings and keep them alive inside you until they begin to fade. Once they begin to fade, they often evaporate away quickly. If you were thorough, then the feelings will not re-0ccur. If you missed some situations and failed to address them you will re-experience these feelings again. That is not a big deal. Then just go through the same process with the un-relived experiences until they are also gone. Then you are free.

What about External Problems?

They are real. And pressing. You will probably not be able to avoid them. You will have to deal with them in one way or another. Since that is the case, the only thing to be careful of is worrying about them. The worrying then becomes an internal problem, and it can exacerbate the external problem. Worrying is not necessary for external problems. They have enough force on their own to make you deal with them. For example, you are broke and don’t have a job. You will probably get a job pretty quick. So, internal worrying is a waste of energy. Just do it.