How I Defeated the Depression Monster in One Hour
The Sneak Attack
I just finished repelling another sneak attack by the big hairy depression monster. And let me be clear - there was absolutely no reason for me to feel depressed this Tuesday morning. No major life crisis, no relationship drama, no work catastrophe. Sure, I'd been staying up until midnight for a few nights and wasn't getting quite enough sleep, but I've had plenty of sleepless periods that didn't trigger this particular beast.
No, this was a classic sneak attack.
I walked into my office that morning carrying this strange, uneasy feeling of anger. It sat low in my body, almost imperceptible yet weirdly pervasive, like background radiation poisoning my entire system. Instead of diving straight into work like usual, something told me to pay attention to this feeling. So I decided to do a 15-minute scanning breath session.
The session helped a little. I felt slightly better, had some breakfast, did a bit of work. But that underlying unease was still there, that low-level anger still humming beneath the surface. So I did another 15-minute session.
Then I went back to work and realized I couldn't focus at all. My mind felt like thick molasses. I knew this was bad news, so I went upstairs and did another scanning breath session.
This pattern repeated two more times. Four sessions total. And somewhere around the halfway point, that low-level anger transformed into something I recognized immediately - a profound lack of motivation and energy. The complete drain of any desire to do anything at all.
I knew this feeling intimately. It had been a long time since I felt it, but I remembered it well from past experiences where it would hijack my life for weeks at a time.
But this time was different. This time, I was armed and ready.
My Battle Strategy Against Depression
Every time I sat down at my computer and felt my will to live drain out of me like water from a broken dam, I ran upstairs and did another scanning breath session. The technique itself is simple but precise: sitting comfortably, breathing in very slowly for about 20-30 seconds while swiveling my head from right to left, then breathing out while swiveling back from left to right. (I've covered the full details of this scanning breath technique in other posts on my blog.)
What made this day different wasn't the technique itself - I'd been using this method for years. What made it different was my response time and my dedication to the process.
I was fortunate that this attack happened during my discretionary time at work. Those first several hours each morning when I don't have to deal with clients, when my schedule is entirely my own. This protected time didn't happen by accident - it took me years and years to carve out my schedule and make this discretionary time available. And let me tell you, it's extremely useful and quite necessary for exactly these kinds of situations.
Because here's the thing about fighting the depression monster: you have to drop everything and deal with it intensely and immediately. You can't multitask your way through this. You can't casually meditate while checking emails. It requires your full, concentrated attention.
The Breakthrough: Depression as Frequency
During that fourth session, I had a realization that changed everything. Although this depression feeling was incredibly profound and overwhelming, I couldn't locate it at any specific point in my body. It wasn't in my chest or my stomach or my head. It was everywhere and nowhere at once.
Then it hit me - this feeling was like a frequency.
I've done audio work on computers, so I'm familiar with sound frequencies. This depression felt exactly like a very, very low-level frequency that's almost inaudible to the human ear. You know those bass notes that you feel more than hear? The ones that rumble through your entire body even though you can barely detect them consciously?
That's exactly what this depression monster felt like. A low-frequency hum throughout my entire body. Almost imperceptible, yet once you realize it's there, it's dramatically, overwhelmingly present.
This insight changed my entire approach. Instead of trying to focus on one part of my body during the scanning breath sessions, I focused on the entire frequency throughout my body. I tuned into that almost-inaudible hum and worked with it directly.
It was incredibly effective.
Victory in Record Time
When I finished that final session, I was good to go. The depression monster had been defeated - not destroyed completely, but definitely wounded and sent back into hiding.
I was in a bit of a rush because I actually wanted to get some work done and didn't want to waste the entire day. That desire to be productive wasn't part of the depression itself - it was a separate, intellectual motivation that remained intact throughout the whole episode. This helped me recognize that the depression monster was indeed a separate entity from my normal thoughts and feelings.
The whole battle took about an hour of concentrated effort spread across the morning. Compare that to past encounters where this same feeling would disable me for weeks, and you can understand why I was so elated.
This was my record-breaking defense. I'd never been able to deal with this particular type of depression quite so soundly and quickly ever before. It gave me a tremendous sense of confidence in my ability to just plain live.
The Real Story: Years in the Making
But here's what I want you to understand - this victory didn't happen overnight. This one-hour triumph was the result of years of building my emotional sensitivity and developing my mindfulness skills.
I've been working with the scanning breath technique on various feelings for years now. Through this practice, I've uncovered emotions and memories from decades ago - some from 35 years back. This ongoing work has honed my ability to sense subtle feelings that I never would have noticed before.
Years ago, I couldn't even detect these low-frequency emotional states. It takes time to develop what I call "ultrafine senses" - the ability to notice feelings that are almost imperceptible but incredibly powerful. You have to train yourself to pick up on these subtle signals, and that training takes dedication and practice.
Each time I successfully fight off the depression monster, it gets smaller and weaker. Not because the depression itself is diminishing, but because I'm getting cleverer and more skilled at recognizing and addressing it quickly.
The Hard Truths About Depression Management
Let me be realistic about what this approach requires and when it doesn't work.
You need protected time. If you can't drop everything when the depression monster attacks, you might miss your window. The feeling can slip away, and then you're stuck dealing with it later when it's harder to access and address.
Tiredness makes you vulnerable. Those late nights that preceded my attack probably created a weak point that the depression monster could exploit. When you're tired, you lose energy, and when you lose energy, you start to feel down. This creates an opening for deeper depressive episodes.
It requires intense focus. This isn't casual meditation. It's not something you can do while multitasking. It demands your complete, dedicated attention for however long it takes.
The monster will return. I don't think I completely destroyed it - I probably just wounded it badly and sent it back into hiding. It's still out there, waiting like a tiger in the bushes for the next opportunity to pounce.
But here's the hopeful part: every time it comes out, I know how to deal with it. And every time, my response gets faster and more effective.
Building Your Own Defense System
If you struggle with depression, especially the kind that seems to come out of nowhere and drain all your motivation, I want you to know that you can build these same defensive capabilities. But it's important to understand what's really required.
Start developing your emotional sensitivity now. This isn't a skill you can build in a crisis. It takes consistent practice over months and years to develop the ability to notice subtle emotional frequencies in your body.
Carve out discretionary time. This might be the most important practical step. You need periods in your schedule when you can drop everything and focus on your mental health without external pressure or obligations.
Learn a technique that works for you. The scanning breath method works for me, but the specific technique matters less than finding something that helps you tune into your body's subtle signals and work with them directly.
Expect it to take time. Don't get discouraged if your first attempts don't work as dramatically as my recent victory. Remember, this success came after years of practice and skill development.
The depression monster might always be lurking in the shadows, ready to launch sneak attacks when we're tired or vulnerable. But with the right tools, practice, and protected time, those weeks-long episodes can become hour-long battles that you actually win.
And there's no feeling quite like the confidence that comes from knowing you can defend yourself against your own mind's sneak attacks. It truly gives you a great sense of confidence in your ability to just plain live.
*Have you experienced similar "sneak attacks" of depression or low motivation? What techniques have you found helpful for managing sudden emotional shifts? *