The Neglected Language of Feelings
We often make ourselves feel bad without even knowing it. These bad feelings can be small, but they pile up over time. Our world loves thinking and being smart, but it doesn't care as much about feelings. When we learn to notice our feelings through meditation, we can live better lives.
Why We Miss Our Feelings
Our world loves smart thinking. We see this in schools, at work, and in how we fix problems. Being smart has helped us build amazing things. But we now think smart thinking can fix everything.
This is like a rich person who gives advice about things they don't understand. Just because someone is good at making money doesn't mean they know about other things. The same goes for smart thinking. It's good for some things but not everything.
When we talk about feelings, we're not really feeling them. Talking turns feelings into words. But words aren't the same as feelings. It's like how a map isn't the same as the real place. The word "happy" can mean many different things:
- The happiness after a good meal
- The joy of winning a race
- The warm feeling of a hot bath
- The pride after doing good work
These are all "happy" but each feels totally different. When we feel something, we don't need words for it.
My Sink Story: Finding Hidden Frustration
Let me tell you a story about how I made myself feel bad without knowing it.
Every day, I use an electric shaver. When I'm done, I tap the shaver bits into the sink. I also use a neti pot to rinse my nose with salt water. Years ago, I had a "smart" idea: Why not use the water coming out of my nose to wash away the shaver bits?
The problem was my sink has a faucet right over the drain. This made it hard to aim the water from my nose. I would bump my head on the mirror and get annoyed. But I kept doing this for years!
Recently, through meditation, I noticed this feeling. I had been making myself feel bad every single day over something so small. My "smart" way of being efficient was actually making me feel worse.
How Small Bad Feelings Grow
These small bad feelings add up. When we start the day feeling bad, we think "today is a bad day." Then we do more things that make us feel bad. It becomes a loop:
- Feel bad about something small
- Think the whole day will be bad
- Make choices that create more stress
- Feel even worse
We need to stop this loop and start good ones instead. The best way to do this is by clearing out the bad feelings through meditation.
Learning the Language of Feelings
Learning to feel your feelings is like learning a new language. When we were babies, we couldn't talk. We didn't get mad at ourselves for not knowing words. It took years to learn.
Feeling our feelings is the same. If you haven't spent time feeling your feelings before, you don't know their language. They happen, but you don't notice them. It's like being asleep.
Meditation helps you wake up. But be ready for a slow journey:
- First, you cross a desert where you can't feel much
- Then you reach flat land where you can feel, but not very well
- The landscape changes as you travel deeper into this new world
This takes years of practice. Don't expect to be good right away.
Seeing Clearly Without Attachments
Emotional awareness comes from letting go of attachments. Attachments are all the things we like and dislike. They are:
- Our sense of who we are
- Things we enjoy too much
- Feeling like we deserve special treatment
When someone doesn't treat us how we want, we get upset because we feel entitled. By letting go of these attachments, we don't get angry. We see things as they really are.
When someone says something mean, we often think they're mad at us. But without attachments, we can see their words come from their own problems. This helps us respond better to others.
Starting Your Journey
If you want to start meditating for emotional awareness, be ready for slow progress. Just like a baby learning to talk, you need time to learn this new skill.
When you meditate for a while, you'll start to notice when bad feeling cycles begin. Then you can step back, meditate, and break the cycle. But first, you need to believe meditation works and do it every day for a couple of years.
The reward is worth it. You'll start to feel your feelings more clearly. You'll stop making yourself feel bad without knowing it. And you'll live a deeper, more rewarding life.
Remember my sink story. For years, I created small frustrations for myself without knowing it. Meditation helped me see what I was doing. It can help you too.
Start your journey today. Your feelings are trying to tell you something important. It's time to learn their language.